Where are the words?

The first tantrum of the day erupted at 8:30 am.  While my son was busy, I had picked up his pajama pants and folded them. It's a subconscious act, I do these things on auto pilot. A few moments later he was screaming like a mad man because the pajama pants had been moved.

We work hard at naming emotions. I think this is helpful for me as well, it keeps me focused and keeps me from yelling. Although he can't actually hear me over his roars, I keep saying it over and over again. "You feel frustrated because.... you feel frustrated because..." He does not fill in the blanks. He screams louder, making a face like he is being horribly tortured. "Where are the words, where are the words, where are the words..." I ask him, sensing that I am losing my calm.

I made it into a game. "Where are the words!? Are they hiding?!" I fake some enthusiasm for a game of hide and seek. I tiptoe around his room, looking for the words. He stops screaming. "Are they over here? no... here? no.... Oh! I found them." I have him hold out his hands and I pour the words in.  "Put them in your mouth!" He pops in the words. He puffs out his cheeks. "What are the words saying?" He swishes them around and says "Tastes like apples and juice!." Fair enough.

Another thing I am working on is celebrating the small successes. Unfortunately, these kinds of games tend to only work once. That's ok. We made it to 8:45 am.